Check Out My Work

I'm the house therapist on BET's College Hill Tuesday May 12 at 10 PM. If you've the show, you know that some intervention was necessary. Watch and let me know what you think. Can't wait to get your take on my work.

Until the Shrink Comes

I got a new book--"What to do until the shrink comes" will help you
take care of yourself the way a top notch therapist would. I give you
the inside on what a good therapist does and how to pick one
should you decide you need one. Here's a sneak peak:

Things I Can do to Nourish My Own Soul:
1. Be honest with yourself and others
2. Do what you know will give you the most joy
3. Admit when you have not been your best self toward others or yourself
4. Take time to rest, meditate
5. Exercise—move around
6. Follow your own heart, mind, thoughts—they are usually right
7. Be clear on what you want in any given area
And then do what you want to do
8. You know more than you think so trust yourself
9. Learn your body signals and follow them
10. Stop and examine what you’re thinking and feeling before you make any decision—and only act if you can clearly say “yes” to the action

Man, what to do?

What do you do with all of these stories? What about when you hear a story that breaks your heart. But all you can do is listen, invite, and reflect. You know that what your clients do is up to them. After all, they have to live their own lives as do you? As systemic, postmodern therapists, we signed up to help clients find and use their personal resources. So, we try to be there for clients but it seems to be getting harder and harder. I had a colleague share with me a very difficult case. Of course, he's sharing the case because he's stuck. We discovered that he is stuck because he wants to save his client from his wife but can only be there in a very non-directive way. What do you do when you want to tell a client what to do? How do you say, "give it up," without saying "Give it up." Share your wisdom with the rest of us.

How are you living?

My fellow therapists, counselors, and friends with skills: How is it going? Are you getting the help you need? Pastors, who listens to you when you're troubled? Man, if you are like me--have a heart for those that are hurting--then you need some TLC yourself. Once, while I was in graduate school (MA degree) and one of my professors brought of the subject "crying." And I immediately said "on whose part?" Of course, the room erupted with laughter, because she was talking about what we could do if clients began to cry. Of course, we were laughing because we all imagined a therapist crying uncontrollably as the client sat there very calm and "professionally."

Now some 20 years later, I know very well that I could cry when listening to some stories. So what to do? We hear some interesting, very complex stories (some of us all day long). What do you do? Are you talking to your colleagues? Do you have a mentor? Are you detaining strangers on the subway? Well, I don't know how you're living, but I'm going dancing tonight. Yup, give me a good 'ol school song and I'm prepared to hear and respond to another day of difficult, stuck, intricate stories from the lives of people who are as human as I am.

Got Therapy?

I do. I got and I need it.
Yes, therapists need a
therapist. It ain't easy
being in this place,
position of service.
If you're a therapist,
reach out to me; I'm reaching
out to you. Now, if you're super
therapist--got your act together
don't waste your time on me
I'm looking for a therapist
who know how hard it is
to take care of her/himself and
be there for clients.
Let's take care of each other.

The "I, Therapist" Concept

I conceived the "I, Therapist" idea from another brilliant T-shirt Idea that I saw while volunteering at a screenwriters conference. The T simply stated, "I, Artist." Immediately, I thought of the artistry of doing therapy. Of course, to there is a science nature to what we do as well, but the creativity, even spirituality of creating change in lives using mere words is pure art, in my opinion. With the permission of the designer, the I, Therapist T-shirt was born.

There are a number of ways that you can look at the meaning of the statement. One deals with the unique qualities that the therapist brings to the therapeutic relationship, i.e., the "person of the therapist." The person of the therapist” is about how we use our unique gifts to engage clients in conversations of change. It is how the individual therapist use herself or himself to facilitate therapeutic change.

Another way to look at this is the value of the therapist. As therapists influenced by social constructionism, we value the entire relationship and understand that it is a both/and or the client and therapist interaction (among other things) that create change in the client’s life. The I, Therapist concept is a mere acknowledgement of the therapists’ contributions. Face it, we are not the expert in clients’ lives, but we bring our expertise about relationships to bear when we enter clients’ lives via therapy. Your thoughts?